Ryuk's Personal Diary
by Oddsisters
Summary: A strange incident occurs. Ryuk tells the story of Light's and L's body swap in his personal diary. One-shot.


Summary: A strange incident occurs. Ryuk tells the story of Light's and L's body swap in his personal diary.

Disclaimer: We do not own the right to Death Note.

odd sister's note: This is purely fanmade. Just a few explanations to clarify any confusions. "Hyuk hyuk hyuk" is Ryuk laughing. When we are talking about L and Light, because of the body swap, L is Light and Light is L. Hope you enjoy.

**Ryuk's Personal Diary**

Dear my personal diary, not the death note diary,

How are you feeling today? As for me, I'm feeling hungry. I think a red, juicy apple sounds good about right now. Unfortunately, Light is not here to feed me. He's too busy competing with L. Talking about Light and L something interesting happened today. It all began when a glass vase rolled off the table and crashed onto the floor. That was the first ominous sign of foreboding bad luck to come. Then it started to pour heavily. That was the second sign to strike. Suddenly there was a car accident that occurred right outside of their headquarter…you know what they say, third times the charm. Although Light objected going to the convenience store, L was determined to buy his snacks due to the calling of his sweet tooth. He could of demanded his butler, you know that old man that doesn't have very long to live, but does everything for the little raccoon prince, to run the errand for him, but noooo, he decided to accomplish the deed himself. So I followed the pair, who were handcuffed to each other in chains out of boredom. Sharing an umbrella, the two walked down the street. In my opinion, the two became closer through skinship. You can tell from the slight blush on Light's face when L's shoulder brushes against his shoulder. He flinches and tries to step away, but he can't go too far because the chain jerks him back. L, on the other hand, gives Light a blank look. Poor Light, it must be one sided. Then again, what do I know? I'm not an expert on human romance just because I play one or two yaoi dating sim games, hyuk hyuk hyuk. Back to the scene, they finally enter the convenience store. It wasn't even barely two minutes when they came rushing out with Light dragging L along. That's when the unthinkable happened. I saw white, blinding lights and heard loud, thundering booms and then silence. When I looked down, Light and L were sprawled on top of each other, how shameless. Anyways, the umbrella was in tatters. It seems lightening must have struck the small metal tip on top of the umbrella. You'd think for a rich man, L could afford a better umbrella, but nooooo, they just had to remove the protective rubber covering the metal tip. Sigh, humans. And I thought they were intelligent. Still, they're an interesting specie. From the corner of my eyes, a car pulled up and what do you know? It's those three fellas. You know, the guy that likes Light, the gofer, and the quiet one. They exclaimed in horror and carried the two into the car. How dramatic. They just got struck by a little lightening. It's not like they died. At the headquarters, the handcuffs were taken off. The next day, I was drawn away from my games when I heard horrified screams. Curious, I decided to investigate. As I eavesdropped, I heard Light's and L's argument. This is how it unfolded…

"Why do I see myself?" exclaimed L.

L, who was usually calm and nonchalant, was acting odd.

Suddenly, Light started to speak in a very peculiar manner, "Judging from the fact that I can see my own body and you can see yours, I am one hundred percent sure that you and I have switched bodies, Light-kun."

"Of course L. It was a rhetorical question. But how did this happen? It's not like some magical being came and decided to switch our bodies," said L.

"Well, I'm not sure myself…explain to me how Kira can kill criminals supernaturally?"

"For the last time L, I am not Kira!"

"Ah, but I wasn't accusing you right now. Light-kun's reaction to my question only makes me more suspicious."

L groan in frustration. It seemed the two had switched bodies during the lightening accident.

"I'm hungry Light-kun," stated Light who is actually L.

"How can you feel hungry in this kind of situation?" asked L incredulously.

"Complaining and whining isn't going to accomplish anything. Besides, the mind thinks better when the stomach is full of sweets."

L's jaw dropped and closed like a fish out of the water. His eyes widen in horror. It only accentuated the raccoon eyes, "Don't you dare stuff my healthy body with your sugary sweets. If you do, I'll get revenge by eating healthy and actually sleeping."

"That might do wonders for my raccoon eyes. Thank you, Light-kun," Light smile brightly, "By the way, I never noticed, but you're really fit. Look at these muscles." Light began to touch his biceps and then his firm torso, "Whoa, six pack. Amazing, Light-kun."

"Stop touching my body! That's sexual harassment," exclaimed L.

"It's not really sexual harassment. Technically, you're touching your own body. You're such a pervert."

"You're the one making me touch myself. I'm not touching myself! On a side note, of course, I'm fit. I eat healthy, I sleep, and I exercise, unlike you. Look at this flabby body and this bad posture."

Light looked over to L and gave him a blank stare as he usually he does in his original body.

"Say something!" yelled L.

Light blinked and said, "The human body can perform wondrous action when in dire situations. Say for example, you see that eight feet chainlink fence out the window, across the street. Then, imagine a thief rushing at me with a knife. That flabby body you so carelessly grabbed and claimed can actually spring into action in an emergency situation, Yes, Light-kun, this is called adrenaline. In some cases, it is the flight or fight system. The human body can do the impossible. So, don't assume that my flabby body can't do anything. Go on, give it a try. Jump up and down. You'll be amazed."

L gave Light a dumbstruck expression and replied in a monotone voice, "I'd rather not."

Light shrugged and picked up a lollipop from the bowl on top of the dresser, unwrapped it, and stuck it in his mouth. L stomp over and snatched the lollipop out.

"Didn't I tell you not to stuff my body with sweets!" yelled L.

"But if I can't have my sugar, then I can't think Light-kun," explained Light.

"You don't need to think."

"But if I don't think then I can't help you solve this issue."

"Fine, but I'm setting the rules. You can only have one cake a week."

"One cake? One cake…and you can pump my body with as many sweets as you want."

L cringed at the thought. He didn't respond to Light's reply, but instead walked passed him. He was halfway to the door when Light grabbed his wrist and pressed something cool against it. L heard a click and glanced down to his wrist where he was handcuffed. Once again, he was stuck with L…but in his body.

"What are you doing? Is this really necessary?" asked L, "Where am I going in your body?"

"What does it look like? You're being handcuffed. There's a twenty percent chance you will escape. I'm just taking pre-cautions," replied Light coolly.

"Why would I want to escape in _your _body?"

"So that Kira may know my face and name. There is also a ten point five percent chance that you may have accomplices."

"For the last time, I am _not _Kira. Stop accusing me of something I never did."

"I'm just pointing out possibilities. Also, we should refrain from worrying the others by acting like each other."

Huffing, L stomped out of the room, dragging Light along. Taking the elevator down, they entered the investigation room and resumed their work, without telling the rest of the Kira investigation team about their body switch. They worked late into the afternoon, stopping long enough to take a lunch break. Light immediately picked out a strawberry cake while L chose a sandwich. L shuddered as he watched his body consume the entire strawberry cake under twenty minutes. He would have to start exercising as soon as he returned to his body. After lunch, they resumed working late into the night. Around seven pm, Watari brought their dinner, a cake for L and a coconut-lime chicken and snow peas for Light. Once Watari left, Light reached over and tried to exchange their plates. L slapped his hand and scowled.

"One cake," hissed L.

"But I'm hungry," said Light.

"We made an agreement."

"Then what shall I eat Light-kun? My diet consists of sweets. And I cannot possibly eat this healthy…food."

"Don't worry, I'm eating that. I'll save you a portion. Just pinch your nose and eat. That is _my_ body."

"Well, if that is the case, then Light-kun, you must eat the cake."

"I refuse," L immediately responded.

Light pouted at L. He then quickly grabbed a spoonful of cake. L glared at him and shook his head.

"Don't you dare put that in your mouth, or you're getting this chicken," threatened L.

"If you eat that chicken, then I'm eating this cake," Light threatened back.

It was a standstill. Fifteen minutes passed with no change except for the sound of stomachs growling. Light finally broke their silence, "Light-kun, let us both be reasonable. Our bodies needs to eat. Because of this unique circumstance, with your usual healthy diet and my body eating sweets, it is only logical that we must eat what our bodies are accustomed to even though I would rather eat the cake."

L sighed and agreed, reluctantly. Switching their plate, he cringed at the thought of eating a cake. After consuming half the slice of cake, L stared at Light's finished chicken plate with envy. He really wanted real food. Staring down at the half eaten cake, he pushed it away, unable to finish.

"Shall I eat the rest for you?" asked Light, "By the way, the chicken was very delicious."

L glared at him and out of spite, decided to finish eating the cake. Light stared at the empty cake plate sadly.

"Can I lick the cream?" asked Light hopefully.

"No," replied L.

Smiling evilly, L scooped up the cream with his finger and licked it off. Crest fallen, Light sighed.

"I shall be the more mature person," said Light.

Rolling his eyes, L swiveled in his chair and turned his attention back to the computer screen. By two in the morning, L was yawning. He glanced over to Light who was typing away quickly while staring at the screen. He cringed at the thought of his body not receiving its beauty sleep.

"I think we should go to sleep," suggested L, "My body needs it's eight hour rest."

"But I am not tired, Light-kun. I can still work," said Light without turning to face him.

"But I want to sleep."

Light finally stopped and turned his head to look at L. Sighing, Light grabbed his laptop and hopped off the chair. They went into the room and got ready for bed. Around this time, a glass cup broke whle Watari was washing the dishes. Cats were meowing and dogs were barking crazily. Then, it started to rain and hail heavily. L glanced to window and remembered how all of this bad luck started on a rainy day. Sighing, he climbed into bed. Just as L was about to sleep, he noticed Light turn on the laptop. Frowning, he sat up.

"What are you doing?" asked L.

"Why must you ask everything that I do?" asked Light.

"Aren't you going to sleep?"

"I am not tired, Light-kun. I only came into the room so that you may sleep."

"_Ryuuzaki_, that is _my_ body. My body needs its rest."

"If that's so, then Light-kun, would you rather stay up? My body is use to staying up late."

"No."

"Then I shall not sleep."

L glared at Light, "You're. Going. To. Sleep."

Light sighed and closed his laptop. He climbed onto the bed and lied next to L. "Fine Light-kun, whatever you say," said Light.

With heavy lids, L fell into a deep slumber. As soon as Light noticed L's even breathing, he sat back up and grabbed his laptop. He turned it back on and started working on the case again. Around seven in the morning, Light found himself asleep while sitting. Blinking, he stretched and wondered how that was possible since he remembered lying down to sleep. He tried to get out of bed, only to remember that he was chained to L. Grumbling, he looked down and noticed that he wasn't looking at his own body anymore. His face brightened as he shook L awake.

"Ryuuzaki! Ryuuzaki! We've returned to our original bodies!" he said happily.

L woke up groggily and stared up at Light, "So it seems we have…I feel…quite refreshed."

Light hurried out of bed, pulling L along with him. He looked in the mirror and gasp in horror. His facial complexion was terrible. His once smooth, milky skin was rough and there was dark bags of circles under his eyes, as if he's never gotten a good night of rest. His hair was like a bird's nest and his posture was horrible. He never use to hunch. Light gaped at his reflection and turned to L who stumbled beside him.

L touched his face in delight, "My, oh my, who knew that a good night rest would do wonder for your skin. Look how smooth and shiny my skin is and I don't have dark circles under my eyes…and my posture! Light-kun, you did good in this body. We should switch more often."

"Never! My…my…my beautiful body. My face! You damaged me!" exclaimed Light.

"No I didn't. You're still in one piece," L replied.

And that was how the strange incident ended. Hyuk hyuk hyuk…The two had switched back to their original self. Humans really are interesting.


End file.
